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All Cops Are Bastards (#ACAB)

Once upon a time in the Boston suburbs, there was a hapless CB radio enthusiast named Officer Randy “Mudflap” McGinty. Mudflap wasn’t a real cop, but he took his self-appointed role as the “CB Radio Enforcement Division” very seriously. His days were spent patrolling the airwaves from the driver’s seat of his rusted-out Chevy Caprice,…

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Gay Dating at 85

Charlie “The Geriatric Gigolo” had seen better days. At 85, his once-lustrous hair had surrendered to the inevitable march of time, retreating like a bad army into the fog of his wrinkled scalp. But what he lacked in youth, he more than made up for with raw, unfiltered charm—a charm that he aimed exclusively at…

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Pizza Pizza Pizza!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some spend their days screaming into a CB radio from a dingy Boston apartment, fueled by lukewarm Schlitz and the ghost of a roast beef sandwich. Enter Dick Bulger—renegade radio troll, proud unemployed layabout, and undisputed king of antagonizing MAGA diehards over the airwaves. When Dick…

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Ratfuck CB Operators!

You know the kind: old, single, obsolete white Republican men with no woman in their lives, talking tough on the CB radio, crying to my dad about how totally offended they are that I remind them constantly that Trump is going to rip up their Social Security checks and then shit down their throats. It’s…

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